Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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