We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
