Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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