So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
