People with herpes should wear stickers.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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