i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
