make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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