32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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