Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"

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(248): View more from Michigan

SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!

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(718): View more from New York

Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.

(917): View more from New York City

Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.

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(530): View more from California

So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.

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(641): View more from Iowa

This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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(561): View more from Florida

Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.

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(775): View more from Nevada

KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.

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(338): View more from

a reward? ill think of something

(486): View more from

if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit

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