there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
