I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
