It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
