i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
