piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
