Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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