so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
