Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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