I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
