Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
