a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
