Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
