I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
