People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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