from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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