Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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