I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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