Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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