Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize