so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
