Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
