Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
