Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
