i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
