im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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