I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
