I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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