If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
