i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
