fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
