maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
