I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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