Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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