i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
