matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
