He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
