did you get engaged???
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Did we literally take a cab across the street
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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