So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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