It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
