lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
