If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
