i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize