New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
