I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
