Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
