I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
