i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
