just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
