I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
