and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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