that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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