I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
