i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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