it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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