ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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