TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
