Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize